Survival of the Fittest

The Best Day Ever.

Medical Log:

I must give my dear friend Claudia credit. She certainly knows the type of jobs that fall right in mein kampfert zone. We met her on the surface of Luna, and I introduced her to my new friend Hermes, and we swapped tips on how better to torture some guy that she’s got captured.

She sends us to take out a competing organization that’s on the rise outside Nectar (after equipping us with some new gear). These hardcore bioconservatives (called themselves Natzeez or something). We tried the peaceful approach at first, pretended to be new recruits, but the guards weren’t going for it, and we had to get stabby. We both managed to take out a guard each and We decided to make things interesting and see who could collect more of these red armbands they all seem to be wearing. Hermes crafts a clever disguise by cutting off one guy’s face and putting on his clothes (a white wifebeater and cutoff jeans).

I knock on the door and stab another guy through the crack as he opens it. I guess he just did nazi me coming. This however, alerted the people inside to our presence and they come after us with a tank. Hermes and myself clearly had the same idea, as we both found ourselves in a mad dash to get on top of the vehicle; shooting indiscriminately into the crowd and chopping guys off at the knees as we ran. Once we got ourselves on the tank, we had to fight some more natzeez. Obviously they were no trouble, and only served to give us each two more armbands.

Hermes kicks the hatch open, decapitating one of the men inside, while I jump down to deal with the other two. One of them shoots and grazes a tentacle, but unluckily for him, some of my blood splashes into his mouth, and the BTX2 in by body melts him on the spot (I must have some super potent version in my poison gland, since it’s only supposed to send them into cardiac arrest, while everyone I’ve used it on has melted). I jump on the other one and rub my bleeding tentacle in his face, poisoning him as well.

So now Hermes and I have a tank. It should pretty much be game over for everyone else, but we realize that neither of us knows how to drive it. Luckily Kanko pops up telling me she knows how. She takes us to the center of the compound, where their leader is hiding. I make sure to have her crash through all the buildings and run over as many people as possible on the way. When we arrive, this blonde woman answers the door, and we run her down as we crash through the front of the house. It’s here we meet the leader of this whole operations; said his name was Hilter I think. Sounds vaguely sexual. He pulls out a device and shuts down our tank and suddenly fourteen other identical men show up, apparently clones with forks of himself in each. I can see why Claudia wanted us to shut him down, he’s totally jacking her style yo!

Hermes (ever pragmatic in these situations) throws some plasma grenades at him from the tank, killing Hilter, but leaving the rest unharmed. I propose that instead of armbands, we take scalps from the Hilter clones (it just seems so right) and we jump out to face our attackers, I take on four of them with my swords, while Hermes makes for the high ground to better snipe from.

The room is abuzz with flashing steel, bullets , flying scalps, and white hot plasma. Soon there are only four of them left. They manage to incapacitate Hermes, but just as it seems we are overcome, the walls are blasted open and we find ourselves surrounded by Claudias, each one wielding a plasma rifle. I push Hermes’ frozen form to the ground and cover us with the bodies of dead Hilters to protect us from the plasma fire. When it’s all over, Claudia thanks us for our assistance, and I talk to her about finding Hermes a replacement body. We head for the exit while the Claudias sweep the area and kill any survivors. Today was a good day.



I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.